William said: on 7 December 2007;


I moved into the marina in March this year and found my family sitting in the Marina cross fire. This was quite bewildering and I am concerned for us all.

In any conflict situation, there are two sides who are gnashing at other and over time good reason flies out of the window as both sides feel that the situation has gone on too long to forgive each other or change opinion without losing face.

As humans, we are in general hijacked by our egos and it takes a wise person to detach oneself from your pride and look at the situation afresh. Both sides of the conflict need to ask themselves: Am I really correct in saying that? Did I have the right to say that? Was I wrong to call her that? Did I take it the wrong way? Am I being petty? Have I looked at all the facts? Have I allowed all people concerned to voice their opinion? Did I listen properly and make an effort to understand? How would a wise person react if he/she were in my shoes right now? Am I allowing my ego to raise my voice or my intellect?

It seems to me that the Marina Da Gama needs a reality check.

As a newcomer to the area, I am in the privileged position of not being emotionally tied up in it. I don’t have a history of frustrations that cloud my judgement. Here is my take on the situation:

  1. When you buy a house, there are two things that are most important;
    1. security and
    2. capital gain of your property.

Nothing should get in the way of these two paramount issues and everyone should club together to make sure that they are catered for.

  1. It should not matter if we have a Civic Association, or a Home Owners Association or whatever. What does matter is that we have some kind of association. An association is a wonderful way to pool our resources in terms of finance and brainpower (there are something like 1300 of us lurking in the Marina swamp, that’s a lot of experts in their own fields, environmentalists, architects, lawyers, landscape artists and so on. Any Conflicts Revolutionists out there?).
  2. It is important that that association is well led by wise, humble people that have the support of the majority. These leaders should NEVER let feelings of pride, or frustration, or anger, or stress cloud their judgement. If you step up to lead a group of people you better be sure that you have the right mindset for the job. If you are stepping up because you need a source of praise for giving to the community, then step down please. If you step up because you want power, then step down please. Like politics, you are a public servant, there to serve. Funny how politicians think politics is a source of power! They are public servants and it is the same with executive committees in associations.
  3. Having said that, we all need to keep in mind that the Excom are volunteers. They are not necessarily trained to do what they need to do (like conflict resolution). They may not have the personality to deal with objections. They are doing everything in their spare time. Give them a break. Give them support. Give them positive criticism with the goal of going forward.
  4. I do not believe that Excom have been gracious. I have seen many a rude word to ‘the objectors’ whereas I feel the objectors have been, well, objective in their arguments. I have not seen personal attacks from the objectors. But I have heard them called headless chickens. A leader cannot say something like that and expect to be respected. A leader should dissolve conflict, not aggravate it. Peter Harrison explained at the AGM that he was very stressed when he said that. The people that were called headless chickens needed an apology. That was not an apology, it was a reason. I feel that he would have had a lot more respect from both sides if he had apologized.
  5. Would the objectors forgiven him as wise people should? In any conflict situation, having the wisdom to forgive is imperative.
  6. And then that open letter to Anita gets printed on the front page of the marina newsletter. I have never in my life seen something so vindictive and destructive. Excom, how in heavens name did you allow that to be printed? Would you say a wise person would have let that be printed? Do you think that if Nelson Mandela, the Dahli Lama or Sister Theresa were members of Excom they would have printed that letter? That letter had absolutely no value to our situation, it aggravated the conflict and I personally (and therefore assume many others as well) lost a lot of respect to the Excom for allowing it to go through.
  7. Please, both sides, stop the verbal abuse. You must know that it simply does not help the situation.
  8. Declaration of war? War? When has war EVER solved a problem? Saying “I declare war!” is the same as saying, “I have failed to solve the problem.” I know you don’t mean actual guns and armies, but still, that comment is only going to aggravate the conflict. Remember good people, we have our personal security and property investment at stake here.
  9. A viper in our midst? Comments like these are not resolving the conflict. Period.
  10. The constitution. A constitution is a democratically created and democratically altered document. In other words, only when the required quorum is present can an issue be voted on. I have heard it said that changers to the constitution are made without a representative amount of people present to vote for it. Peter Harrison of Excom, is this true? If so, then you should not have allowed it to happen. It is plain and simple unlawful!
  11. But then, people of the Marina, how can you expect anything to move forward if you do not attend these meetings? How can you expect Peter and the Excom to get anything right if you do not come to the meetings and vote? If you object so forcefully about the constitution, then vote on it! Put your vote in. If you are right, then it is reasonable that many other people will think so too and your need will be come reality by way of majority vote.
  12. Splitting up into several associations is not the answer. Divide and you will be conquered. Unite and have strength in numbers. Cliché? Yes, but so true. It is much wiser to stick together so that when we need to tackle council issues or security costs, etc we have strength in numbers.
  13. Which brings me to the levies. Before we came to marina, we lived in a little townhouse complex. Our levies were R250 a month. A month! With this money we were able to improve and maintain our security and property investment. We put up electric fencing. We painted the whole complex. So simple. Nobody objected and I can assure you, the average salary of people in that complex would be less than the average salary of people in the Marina, no matter what area of the Marina you live in. The people that lived there understood the importance of security and property investment. I know all this because I was on the executive committee of that Home Owners Association.
  14. People of Marina, a levy of R170 a year is the lowest levy that I have ever heard of. I understand that some of are in a situation where you are living above your means. Some of us are in the situation where your debts are high and there is little or no spare cash for extra levies. But a raise from R150 to R170 is surely not deserving of such objections.
  15. If a monthly levy means that we can live in peace, then surely that is the most important thing for all of us? It takes one broken window pain and a family heirloom is gone forever. It takes one bullet and my 2 year old baby girl is dead. One knife thrust and my wife is dead. One gang beating and I am maimed for life. What on earth could be more important than making sure that we live in peace? If I did not have the cash to pay a monthly levy, but I knew that that monthly levy would protect my family, I would make a plan. I would get a second job or a Saturday job, I would stuff envelopes or work the till at the local Pick ‘n pay. I would consolidate my debt. I would work hard to bring people together so that living in peace becomes a reality in this crime stricken country. I would dissolve conflict instead of aggravating it. I would do something about it, like all winners do.
  16. And remember, monthly levies are voted upon. Not forced upon you. If the majority feel that we should pay monthly levies for security then you must have the grace to comply and the wherewithal to raise the money. This is your security and your investment. And the amount of the levy is also voted on of course.
  17. And those monthly levies should go into one account so that we can have one supplier and get discounts etc.
  18. Why should you feel that people on Excom are going to get rich doing the security scheme? We put it out to tender. The best and most cost effective proposal wins the account. There are performance clauses in the contract. If the supplier lets us down we have a contract that can be legally cancelled due to non deliverance. Safe and easy.
  19. I don’t know if ‘no subs, no vote’ is legal but if you do not pay your subs, why should you have the same rights as one who does? Stick together people. You are not being asked you to change your sex or religion so chill down. Take a step back. Concentrate on coming together for the good of all.
  20. The latest AGM had about 200 members there. The editor of www.marinadagamascurity.co.za said “I infiltrated and took as sneak peak at the Marina Da Gama Association’s AGM last week…” What do you mean infiltrated? Surely everyone is openly welcome? Surely the AGM is the perfect opportunity to allow everyone the chance to bring issues to the fore, to vote on issues and so on. To say that you infiltrated the AGM sounds sneaky. I was really expecting to see people deal with all the frustrations that are in the air, yet people sat passively and I feel that Excom did their best to rush through the meeting and get it all over with. If the objectors are so upset with the way of things, then address it, please. And Excom, you are leaders. True leaders would diligently pursue the issues on hand to try and dissolve them, not gloss over them.

What to do

  1. I say we hold a meeting. In this meeting we have a conflict resolution panel. They will be impartial experts in conflict resolution and property law. They will not be residents of the Marina da Gama nor members of the Marina Association nor the Excom.
  2. As in a jury, the panel is not appointed by a single person, but voted in by the members of the association. We can put forward CVs of candidates for the panel and we can vote on who we think will do the job best for us.
  3. We pay them for their time. No volunteers. We want professional people. I would have no objection to directing funds in the association’s bank account to this event.
  4. In this meeting we solve once and for all:
    1. The issue of the legality of our constitution and if it is illegal then we form a new one right then and there. If it is legal, then we panel beat it until we are all (or at least the majority of us as decided in a vote) happy.
    2. This constitution will encompass everything. The levies, the security, everything in one clean, professionally mediated, voted upon document.

When all is said and done, if you are letting pride, greed, anger and plain stubbornness dictate your dealings and cloud your judgement with these issues that we face, then take a deep breath, take a step back and look at it all logically and objectively. Let go of your personal inner wranglings and hurtings and think of the common good.

Both parties should ask for forgiveness. Both parties should grant it. We MUST move forward.

Let’s have this meeting where supporters, objectors and members of Excom and the panel sit in a circle, mixed together so that we dissolve the boundaries and let’s sort it out. If 1300 people turn up, then let’s have the circle several layers deep and every 15 minutes we can swap seats so that people at the back get a chance to sit in the front? Sounds cranky? I feel it would be a physical way of representing that we want to work together. These techniques are simple team building and conflict resolution exercisers and they work.

We are living together in a beautiful and special ‘village’. Let’s secure it, increase it’s value and enjoy it together. This is no pipe dream. It can be done.

Your thoughts? Please add your comments.